What is Confidence Anyway?

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Everyone talks about it. Why do some people have it and others don’t? Is it a moving target? Does it look different in various seasons of life or does it always maintain the same characteristics? Why does it inspire us in some personalities and others make our stomachs turn? Why are there some people that wear it well and others nauseate us? How do we not become the latter? How can we, as believers, have a spirit of humility and still not look like a door mat? Is it possible to learn how to be sure of ourselves and even more confident in Christ’s work on the cross for us yet not be showy and performance based?

My goodness, do I hope so!

I’ll be honest with you…. I love to see a confident woman in action. Sadly, it’s about as common as a white Bengal tiger. Why? Why is that? As a Christ follower, we should have the confidence to take the industries (Proverbs 31:31), to work hard at our jobs, be diligent in our homes and bring good to our husbands (Proverbs 31:12). Yet we (read: I) sit at home and twiddle our thumbs and wonder when we will be good enough to actually do the thing we know he’s called us to do. Not what he’s called our best friend to do, but what he’s called US to do. And that thing is what he created us to do. And no one else can do it with the us-ness that we would do it. That’s why God asks us to complete it.

Knees bent, arms raised and heads lowered is where we find confidence. That’s where we find our center. Our calling. That’s where we come off the endangered species list and start to live so that we can thrive. Not just inch by. That’s what worms do. Believers should be the nicest, kindest, most honest people you’ve ever met and the only way to accomplish those things is hit the floor.

In finding our center through prayer and thanksgiving we also find ourselves. Our truest selves. The version of ourselves that is raw and unguarded before our mighty King that protects and serves us and is GOOD TO US. Those moments when our knees won’t seem to bend and our voices are hoarse from crying and searching other places is exactly the place we need to stop doing and start thanking.

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through Him we also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”  Romans 5: 1-2

The grace in which we stand: Tall. Confident. Assured. Made complete. Lacking nothing.

WHOLE.

Love you so much friends,

LB

Around here…

Here are a few things we’ve been up to lately.  Happy weekend!

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My big girl is getting so big–About to finish up 4-k and a birthday next week!IMG_4660

Muffins with Mom at Rowan’s school-such a sweet morning!IMG_4638

Field Day!IMG_4667

My monkey baby.IMG_4651Where in the world is Darby?

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Don’t know what I’d do without my mom…..she’s amazing!IMG_4650

IMG_4615Philadelphia!

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Le Pain Quotidien  (My favorite Belgian sugar waffle!)

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Nashville in Concert!

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On Feeling Like a Fraud.

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We are in a sweet season of life right now as we round the corner into summer.  Lots to be thankful for and several big things coming up on the calendar.  However, even in the midst of everything good, there are still normal life blips along the way.  Failures and frustrations feel like they abound when you only focus on the negative and not all the positive.

I was eating a peanut butter sandwich for lunch yesterday and finally got the words together in my brain to tell Brad how I’d been feeling.  Like a fraud.  There are a few big things in my life that I’ve overcome and quite honestly, I don’t know if I could face them again.  There is something in my head that keeps telling me I’m a fraud for struggling as a believer.  Probably just that perfectionist nature, I’ve got going on.

Generally speaking it can seem like any one of us is a fraud.  We are propagating a grace that isn’t ours that we will never fully understand on this side of heaven.  Satan’s view is that we are in fact, frauds.  We can’t even wrap our brains around grace or the crucifixion or how water turned into wine…..so he thinks that we will buy the ‘fraud’ line he dangles in front of us.

The thing is, Satan can’t seem to get it through his brain, or whatever intelligent processor he uses, to grasp that we see the fraud in front of us and that’s him.  He’s the one with the lies and the smoke and mirrors.  We see straight through that facade.  His tricks are good, I’ll give him that.  His tricks are cirque du soliel in Vegas type good.  Strange and pretty but you’re not quite sure where the story is going.

Sister friend, (and perhaps brother friend) let me pull you in close for a second.

YOU ARE NOT A FRAUD.

It feels like there are times when we take 4 steps forward and two steps back.  This, does not constitute fraud-ness.  This is called life.  It’s ok.  Just be honest about it.  I’m there right now… Feeling like I’m in Dancing With the Stars some days minus the rock hard abs and glitter overload.

You’re gonna be alright.

Take some time alone to pray.  Refocus.  Go for a run.  Garden.  Serve a meal to a family in need.  Do something to recenter yourself the way only God can.  Realign your vision with His.  Ask for His eyes and fresh grace for the moment.  He always provides those things.

You are not a fraud and I’m not a fraud.  Let’s spend today acting accordingly, friends.

Controlled Transparency.

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Funny how trends happen in social media, blogs, etc. A recent trend in blogging I feel like is oversharing. This overshare happens about our kids, our marriage…and so on and so forth.

All in the name of TRANSPARENCY. Iʼm pretty sure this word is a churchy word because we pat ourselves on the back when we are overly transparent. Like itʼs such a great thing.

The idea behind the concept was to encourage people to be a part of community. And in being a part of community, we naturally open ourselves up and let people know our truest selves. This, I applaud.

The danger comes when no topic is out of bounds we disrespect the beauty of honesty between two people.

Most people love sports metaphors but since I donʼt really understand all of those, I enjoy a good fashion metaphor. So here ya go…..If being honest and letting people know the real ʻyouʼ in healthy community is a figure flattering outfit then oversharing on a regular basis is walking around in your birthday suit.

There are ways to be appropriate and ʻrealʼ while still being cautious and respectful of privacy. Because here’s the thing:  you and everything about you is worth more than a cheap sellout for a few extra clicks on your blog and/or a ton of comments and likes on facebook.

YOU are more interesting than that. YOU are deeper and kinder and wiser and smarter and more fun than that. In fact, YOU are pretty cool. Let me get to know the real you.  In the age of the internets, everything you (read:I) put out there will be accessible for YEARS. YEARS…..YEARS!!!!!

Until the internets die.

I urge you to be wise. I am, of course, preaching at myself as well. Itʼs scarily simple to hit the ʻshareʼ or ʻpublishʼ button without thinking long term.

False humility tends to be a deflection technique.  And while there is some immediate reward there, what you can lose is far greater.  You can lose boundaries and privacy for you and your family.

By all means, be real and honest….practice controlled transparency for when it’s most necessary to help others along.  Not just for a few extra ‘likes’ or click throughs.

You are better than that friend,

LB

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